Progress

Well, the summer is progressing without a whole lot of excitement to speak of. 

I mean, we have our daily household excitements, but other people would probably not find them very exciting at all.

For example, yesterday the kids spent several hours with their Great Grandparents, and I had several sweet hours all to myself.  I found that pretty darn exciting.  I have been working like crazy on my book for the last month or so since I finished the ending.  Actually, reworking might be a better term when it comes to some parts.  As I started the first edit of the first draft, I realized I needed to move some things around and add some additional content.  Boring.  But, you know, exciting for me.

Hunter's new diet and herbal regimen seems to be helping.  I had a thought last night, and it's starting to make more sense to me the more I think about it.  I believe the first week of this test he did well because he still had his stimulant medication in his system.  Then the second week (last week), it suddenly seemed like the treatment wasn't working at all, because his brain and body were dealing with a bit of shock-type withdrawal to losing the medication.  Yesterday, it was like a switch was flipped.  He did things he was supposed to without being told.  At bedtime, when I commended him on his responsibility and encouraged him to remember what that felt like, he said, "That's my goal."  Just like that.  "That's my goal."  From a child who has never said the word "goal" to me in his life.  (Or in the last year and a half, as the case may be.)  Time will tell, certainly, but I have to tell you, it was music to a mother's ears.

P.S. He just finished his handwriting for today, and it is B.E.A.yootiful!  See?  Not so exciting for others, but extremely exciting for me.

Kaleigh is working on writing "sticks and circles" for her schoolwork, in preparation for learning to write.  I am also working with her on activities and exercises to strengthen her fine motor skills.  And she enjoys a fair amount of time playing.  Because she's four.

Well, that's about it for now.  I know my mom is enjoying her time away, but we are (selfishly) anxious for her return, as we miss her very much.  And because I miss the excuse to get out of the house for a day once in awhile.

Summer... So Far

Well, the Shanahan summer is going swimmingly so far.  
Get it?  Swimmingly? 

Okay, fine, don't laugh at my joke.  The kids think it's great (the pool, anyway).  As you can see...

Besides swimming, we have been using the summer to try some new things for our family, in the hopes of creating a little more healthy lifestyle for all of us.

First of all, we are doing some summer school work at home, mostly to catch Hunter up to the fifth grade level before he starts school in the fall; but also to get Kaleigh started on some preschool work.  I'm not a big believer in formal preschool, so Kaleigh won't be going "to school" in the fall, but we will be doing some things here at home.  There's a high probability that Hunter will also be home-schooling in the fall, for multiple reasons, the main one being that I did not feel his teachers were putting much effort into helping him catch up to grade level.  They seem to be doing just enough with him to show improvement (I would even use the term "drastic improvement" compared to his former school), but not enough to fully catch him up.  As he does not have any learning disabilities, and he simply got behind several years ago, there is no reason for him not to begin to achieve at grade level, with the right support.  However, the minute a student is deemed "special education" and given an IEP, the public school system receives a larger amount of funding.  And who in their right mind would give up free money?  So what if it means labeling our kids and putting them behind the 8 ball for possibly the rest of their school-age lives, if not longer?  It's money!  (/rant)

Anyway, so we've gotten a head start on the home-schooling, and Hunter is doing pretty well so far.  His printing is improving, he's learning handwriting, and his math skills have grown by leaps and bounds as he quickly learns the new problem-solving techniques set before him.  The only thing I am still trying to figure out how to help him with is reading comprehension.  We're going with the trial and error approach, so I'm sure one of these days something will click into place.

Another change, which after several weeks of research we are just starting this week, is that we are trying something with Hunter's AD/HD treatment.  We are weaning him off his meds and onto a daily herbal regimen; in addition, we have pulled a few things out of his diet that often cause problems in AD/HD kids, like dairy and red and yellow food colorings.  We are less than a week into the treatment, so no results to report yet.

The last major change, which more directly impacts the entire family, is that I have been slowly transitioning our foods into whole foods, including more whole grains.  I am happy to report that this change has become final in the last couple of weeks, as my pantry is now stocked with whole-grain pastas and rices and other yummy things, and the cereal and snack cupboards are stocked with seeds and nuts and homemade granola and trail mix, as well as Triscuits.  My fresh fruit basket on the counter is (almost) always full, and my fridge is overflowing with fresh veggies.

Here are the kids, enjoying their afternoon snack of apples and trail mix:

I had to stop after taking three pictures, walk away from the window, and occupy myself with something else, before I had an anxiety attack about my daughter's apple sitting on the ground.  I'm trying not to be "that mom" (or at least, not TOO much of "that mom").

June Update

On second thought, maybe a monthly update is the key...

We've had a great month so far.  I started it off with a new haircut and highlights, both of which I am loving.  We also met with a mortgage specialist through our credit union, who hooked us up with an independent broker.  He has been very helpful, and we have spent the month doing paperwork and making phone calls and gathering information, and are getting ready to fill out a pre-approval application.  I am both excited and wary, and very prayerful; our family needs more space, and I know that God will continue to meet our needs as He always has.

Ryan was finally released from wearing the boot on the foot he fractured in Kansas.  After eight weeks, the fracture was finally healed!

The second week of June, we were blessed with a three-day visit from my best friend Shannon!  We enjoyed every minute of her visit, and the kids can't wait to see Aunt Shannon again :).  The day Shannon left, Hunter got out of school, and a bunch of my mom's family arrived for a mini-family reunion and to celebrate my cousin's graduation from high school.  It was a very busy five days, with lots of driving, lots of food, and lots of fun with family.  While they were here, Kaleigh turned 4, and it was fun to have so many family members here to help celebrate!

We took a week off from school and visitors to relax and chill.  Then we started summer school at home.  This was our first week, and it went well.  Hunter read his first book in three days, and is learning to spell words twice as long as the words he was given by his fourth grade special ed teacher.  He is also learning some new math techniques, which I believe will help him better understand numbers and his own mathematic ability, which development has heretofore been neglected.

Yesterday we drove up to Sheboygan to visit my cousin and see her new house.  We all had fun, and it was great to visit with her.  Then we booked it down to my mom's house for my Pampered Chef party.  Today we are holding our first day of summer school cooking class; in the interest of starting off learning about simple and healthy snacks, we are heading down to a natural foods store to pick out the ingredients to make our own trail mix.  I'm not sure who's more excited - the kids, or me!

Random

Well, this will never do.  Once a month is just not going to cut it!  I guess I have just had enough going on lately that it pushes motivation to write in the blog to one of the rear burners.

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Since my last post...

Hunter has turned 10.  My first child is a decade old, only a year after meeting him!  It gives me a brain-ache.

Kaleigh has readjusted to having Mommy to herself during the days.  She was just getting used to the setup when the other foster children came here.  After taking our first family vacation and returning home to move the kids to a long-term foster home, it was almost like starting over from the beginning with Kaleigh.  It was a rough few weeks, exacerbated by weekend visits with her overly indulgent grandparents, during which she needed to re-learn the boundaries and expectations.  She has done well though, and this week I've finally begun to feel that she - and I - are balanced again, each of us individually and together.

I celebrated my first Mother's Day as a Mommy.  It was wonderful to have my whole family, including my AF Pilot brother and sister-in-law home from New Jersey for an extended weekend.  We were able to give my mom a few nice surprises for Mother's Day, and my entire family contributed to making my first Mother's Day a very sweet one!

As per our original agreement at the time of adoption, we sat down with the grandparents last week to discuss visitation after May and going forward.  We were a little concerned that they would try to fight our decision, which was to go to a non-formal type of visitation, the traditional type of relationship children would have with their grandparents.  We don't want a scheduled visit "once a month," and we don't want a monthly overnight visit.  We told them we were committed to making sure they see the kids at least twice a month, sometimes more, but that we wanted it to be more of a traditional relationship, where they might come to family get-togethers and activities and holidays, where the kids might come and spend a Saturday once in awhile, and where there might occasionally be a special situation where the kids will spend the night.  To our pleased surprise, and in merciful answer to our prayers, the grandparents agreed.  So after this weekend, we can hope to continue to further the kids' understanding and experience of what a real family is.

Ryan attended caddying classes and passed the caddy test at the Country Club where he has been wanting to caddy since last summer.  He is hoping for lots of opportunities to caddy this summer so that he can earn enough money to pay for his choir trip to Rome next summer.

I have met several times with our social worker and filled out TONS of paperwork.  That's right - as hard as it is to believe, it has been TWO YEARS since we became licensed foster parents, and it's time to renew our license.  The past month has been filled with meetings and home visits and paperwork, and our license will be renewed by the end of this week.

Tomorrow is our four year wedding anniversary.  I can't believe it's been a whole four years.  And I can't believe it's been only four years.  It seems like we've been together forever.  I have a lot more to say, but I think I will save it for its own post :).  Anyway, I am taking Randy out of town this weekend for our anniversary.  He knows we are going somewhere, but he doesn't have any idea where.  I love surprises (when I am the surpriser, not so much when I am the surprisee).

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I will be homeschooling Hunter this summer.  He has taken summer school every year for the past several years.  Officially, this is because he spends half days in special ed classes.  Unofficially, he is a typically energetic boy, and previous caretakers did not want to put time or energy or thought into finding ways to keep him entertained that did not involve video games.  Anyway, summer school and special ed classes for the last year and a half have not improved his academic standing, and he is a very bright boy who is behind rather than learning impaired.  So we have made a family (parental) decision that I will work with him this summer in the areas where he is behind, and see how much we can get him caught up.  Depending on how things go this summer, we may continue to homeschool him in the fall.  I am already doing some pre-preschool homeschooling with Kaleigh, and plan to continue that this summer, and move into preschool work in the fall.

In the next few weeks, I have a lot of work to do around the house.  We have family coming right after the boys get out of school, and then my Bestie is coming sometime after that (we haven't worked out the details yet).  The house needs to be in MUCH better shape than it is now.  But, I feel this growing into a post of its own, especially since the current post is long enough as it is.

Now, off to study for my final final.

Happy Thursday!

Just a Number

I'm starting to realize something.  I have this weird feeling about the parents of Hunter's friends.  And today, the reason for that hit me.

This is a community in which women began having children when they were my age, or maybe a few years younger.  Even mothers whose oldest is the same age as my youngest are several years or more older than I.  Not one of the mothers in our community had her first child at the age of 19.  Ergo, Hunter's friends' mothers are 5-10 years (or more) older than I.  In a lot of places, that wouldn't matter; but this community happens to be one where it does.  Five to ten years or more makes for a pretty big gap, even in your twenties and thirties.

Of course, it might also be important to note that I have different interests than they do.  I probably also have different values and priorities than most of them.  Granted, you can find that pretty much anywhere, but here it's prevalent rather than occasional.

Which is, of course, one reason we believe finding a church to be important.  Unfortunately, we've been searching since before we were married and still haven't found one to call home.  Which is an entirely different entry altogether.

I realize this post is a bit of a ramble and lacking a central goal or main point.  Its only purpose is really just to express the thought that hit me suddenly and with a bit of a jolt.

The funny (strange, not haha) thing about it is that I don't feel like a "young" mother until I really think about the numbers.  The feeling that my son was born when I was 19 is an odd one, to say the least.  Thankfully, I have more important things to occupy my thoughts these days.  

After all, my eldest is just two days shy of being a decade old!

A Little Steam

So, this post is going to be a bit of a vent.  Not a bash of the mainstream school system - after all, I may be a part of it someday.  But right now, I am feeling a bit frustrated, yet wondering at the same time if I am overreacting.

Right before spring break, Hunter's teacher sent home a note stating that they were going to begin working on a project entitled "A Decade of My Life."  They were supposed to bring in pictures from their lives, birth to present, and a list of some important events that have occurred in their lives.

For obvious reasons, this project was more of a challenge for us than for other families.  But getting the pictures together and having few positive events for him to share was not the main issue for me.

I am a scrap-booker.  I am organized (when it comes to the important stuff).  I am also the kind of mom who wants to make sure that her kids always have keepsakes and records of their childhoods, both for themselves and for posterity.  Put all of these together, and I believe it is MY job to do this project with my child.  MY job to gather pictures with him, talk about them, be there for him when he wants to talk about the significant events that have occurred in his life.  It is MY right and MY privilege and MY joy to spend the time putting together scrapbooks for him.  And I do NOT appreciate the school taking that away from me.

Granted, their intention was not to take anything away from parents.  Their intention was to do "something fun as a class."  And for probably 7 out of every 10 of those kids, this will be their first scrapbook of any kind.  But that is not my fault and not my problem, and I don't believe it is the school's place to take something so personal and make it into a group project.

This doesn't even touch on the feelings I have about my son being adopted.  These feelings are solely based on the fact that I don't believe it is right for his school to take on themselves this type of a task.  The fact that this is going to be even more difficult for him as an adoptee is a completely separate issue that even further supports my feelings that this type of project should be done at home with the parent(s).

A lot of things throughout this year have further strengthened my desire to homeschool my children.  I was homeschooled as a child and allowed to choose if and when to be mainstreamed, as were my brothers, and I still see the HUGE benefits of homeschooling over mainstream education; and so I have always wanted to at least consider homeschooling for my own children.  But this project - on the heels of the sex ed unit, I might add - has just added fuel to the fire and may be the straw that has broken the camel's back.

"When I Be a Mom"

Lately, I have been hearing the phrase, "When I grow up and be a Mom" a lot.  Like, dozens of times per day.

Sweet little girl, you will grow up someday.  But please, please don't rush 'someday.'  It will be here far too soon as it is.  Today you have only 60 days left to be 3 years old.  So enjoy 3 while you have it, because once 4 comes, 3 is gone forever.

And remember that no matter how much of a grown up you are, you will always be my little girl.