Every year I spend about two weeks before Christmas ready to pull my hair out. I spend the week before Christmas a jittery, irritable, ready-to-snap shell of my real self. I spend the last two days before Christmas in full-on panic mode. I always make myself enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but just barely, because I'm in a constant state of everything-has-to-be-perfect-everyone-has-to-be-happy-a-schedule-has-to-be-kept-up-with.
Every year I spend about three months prior to Christmas reminding the kids in every other breath that Christmas is not about "ME ME ME AND WHAT AM I GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS???" That's even more frustrating and more stressful than all the other stuff.
After Christmas last year, I said, "No more." At least to myself. And then the months started to pass, life got back to normal (that is, the normal level of crazy instead of the holiday level of crazy), I started my mid-year holiday planning, and I started to think, "It's once a year. It's not so bad. It's worth it to make sure everyone has a good Christmas. This year I will be able to help the kids understand the real meaning of Christmas. Etc. Etc. Etc." Just like every year.
And then I caught myself.
It wasn't just about the stress of making everything come off without a hitch. It was about the fact that all the TALK about the real meaning of Christmas wasn't getting into the kids' heads, because that's all it was: TALK. How can I expect them to believe that Christmas isn't about getting presents, if we keep giving them presents for Christmas? How can I expect them to believe that Christmas is about Christ and others, if we never do things for Christ and others?
So, as I mentioned in a previous post, Randy and I started talking about it this past summer, and decided to change up how we do Christmas.
It was so different. It was different to not have presents, to think about others instead of ourselves. It was different to just have a nice, quiet, relaxed day; it was different to not be rushing around like a crazy, stressed-out headless chicken. It was different to not have to worry about whether this was going to go right or that was going to be done in time for the next thing to happen. It was different, but in a GREAT way. I cannot express how much better it was to experience Christmas this way, as a family. For the first time in my life, I did not experience the Day-After-Christmas Blues, or the need-to-sleep-for-a-week-to-recover feeling. Friday, we are doing New Year's presents, and last night I got to sit down and wrap, with no stress, no panicky feelings, no worrying about a million other things I have to get done by "the deadline."
I am already looking forward to next Christmas :-).
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Multiple Updates
I know the update on Liam is what everyone is reading for, so I'll lead with that. Then if you don't want to hear about the hum-drum stuff, you don't have to. ;-)
(Just a reminder, Liam is not yet his legal name; so we aren't breaking any rules here.)
We had pretrial this week, and while I didn't go, the CW updated me after the hearing. BM was still going to fight because she "thinks she deserves the chance to parent him." Yeah, don't even get me started. Then her lawyer asked for the hearing to be rescheduled, but the judge denied his request, because there is only one other case ahead of ours, and it sounds like there is a pretty good chance they won't be ready - which means our trial would start Monday! I received a subpoena in the mail last week from the DA's office; I'm not sure if they will actually want me to testify or if they did it just in case they go right into the Best Interest phase after the Grounds phase is complete. (I can't imagine any reason I would be called to testify in the Grounds phase, since that is about proving there are sufficient grounds for TPR, and the Best Interest phase is about deciding what is in the best interest of child as far as permanency. Typically a foster parent would be called in the Best Interest phase in order to state their desire/willingness to adopt the child.)
Apparently the judge gave BM a speech about doing what was best for Liam, and her attorney and a permanency counselor were still going to talk to her after trial about doing voluntary. Still, I have to say, I don't really want her to do voluntary. She is the person who would turn it around on herself, brag that she "gave her son up for adoption" (which is an inaccurate statement when CPS is involved), and try to make everyone feel sorry for her and believe she is a selfless person. Yes, I'm aware it sounds somewhat selfish, or bitter, but after everything she has put him and us through over the past two years (because she was abusing him in utero), she should go through a trial and see what that's like. But, that's neither here nor there; we will see on Monday how it goes.
The Little Man in question is teething, once again getting four teeth at once. Between that and the periodic withdrawals, he can be quite the crank monster, not to mention he is drooling like nobody's business. He still has his happy times though, which I am very thankful for - he is such a sweet baby! At the moment he is digging through his diaper bag, pulling out snacks, his water bottle, and the few toys I keep in there. He loves to eat - his favorite foods are bananas (his first official word besides Mama and Dada was Nana) and avocados. He has absolutely no interest in walking (which is fine with me HAHA!) but can crawl like a maniac and get all the way around the main floor circle at a ridiculous lightning speed.
My little K3 will be 4 years old in only a month and a half! It's so crazy to think about that, when she was just a couple of months over 3 when she came to us. She has really grown in development over the past 8 months. We have had some pretty serious behavior issues with her; she is in therapy, but at such a young age therapy can only do so much. It is sad to think about the possibilities when it comes to realizing what is behind the behaviors. I have a feeling that part of the deal is that she knows she is in a safe place now, and perhaps her mind has "permission" to start remembering things that maybe it wasn't safe to remember before. I may be wrong about that, and I'm sure there are other factors and triggers as well - I'm quite certain BD told her she was going to come live with him soon - but I think that's at least part of it. She loves to play with babies, and also enjoys coloring, though doesn't always like to sit still and concentrate for very long, as is typical for her developmental age.
Kaleigh has struggled through general number sense in school this first half of the year, but is finally starting to grasp the concepts, and has her addition facts down pretty well. Her general reasoning skills tell me that once she really gets into math, she will excel, so for now we just keep practicing, practicing, practicing! She is reading like a pro now, and of course writing and spelling follow. Her favorite activity is still coloring, though! She is a very meticulous child most of the time, and likes to color detailed pictures, as well as any activity that includes cutting and pasting. A new fun thing she has recently discovered is word search puzzles. It won't be long before she is doing crossword puzzles and playing Scrabble.
Hunter is plowing right along through seventh grade. He's doing pre-algebra work, although the most frustrating thing with him and math is that once he masters a skill, he forgets it. We've had to go back and review some fifth and sixth grade fractions work in the past two weeks; it just makes the new lessons move slowly. He continues to be a voracious reader, which continues to thrill me to my core. He is really enjoying the Rick Riordan books, and keeps reading the different series' over and over. His New Year's gift of "Something to Read" is going to be The Hunger Games, which he has been dying to read; he will be totally surprised because I told him awhile back that he had to wait until he was older. I think it will be good for him though.
At this moment, my Christmas cards are sitting in the UPS warehouse in Sturtevant! It's the first year I've had the time and energy to get cards done, and they are sitting in a warehouse while I could be getting them in envelopes! GRRRR!
I have almost everything I need for the kids' Christmas Eve packages! Pajamas, movies, mugs... need to get slippers, which I will do this weekend, and I saw some of those little fleece blankets for like $5 at Walmart a couple of weeks ago, so if I can find those again, they'll each be getting one of those.
Next week is baking week. I have several recipes ready to go; I'm going to have to swing by Sam's and/or Aldi to get more of the staples before we get started. Hunter's math homework next week will be to double or triple each recipe (depending on how much we need) :-). All three of the kids will practice following directions!
Off to enjoy the last few minutes of Liam's nap before he wakes up...
(Just a reminder, Liam is not yet his legal name; so we aren't breaking any rules here.)
We had pretrial this week, and while I didn't go, the CW updated me after the hearing. BM was still going to fight because she "thinks she deserves the chance to parent him." Yeah, don't even get me started. Then her lawyer asked for the hearing to be rescheduled, but the judge denied his request, because there is only one other case ahead of ours, and it sounds like there is a pretty good chance they won't be ready - which means our trial would start Monday! I received a subpoena in the mail last week from the DA's office; I'm not sure if they will actually want me to testify or if they did it just in case they go right into the Best Interest phase after the Grounds phase is complete. (I can't imagine any reason I would be called to testify in the Grounds phase, since that is about proving there are sufficient grounds for TPR, and the Best Interest phase is about deciding what is in the best interest of child as far as permanency. Typically a foster parent would be called in the Best Interest phase in order to state their desire/willingness to adopt the child.)
Apparently the judge gave BM a speech about doing what was best for Liam, and her attorney and a permanency counselor were still going to talk to her after trial about doing voluntary. Still, I have to say, I don't really want her to do voluntary. She is the person who would turn it around on herself, brag that she "gave her son up for adoption" (which is an inaccurate statement when CPS is involved), and try to make everyone feel sorry for her and believe she is a selfless person. Yes, I'm aware it sounds somewhat selfish, or bitter, but after everything she has put him and us through over the past two years (because she was abusing him in utero), she should go through a trial and see what that's like. But, that's neither here nor there; we will see on Monday how it goes.
The Little Man in question is teething, once again getting four teeth at once. Between that and the periodic withdrawals, he can be quite the crank monster, not to mention he is drooling like nobody's business. He still has his happy times though, which I am very thankful for - he is such a sweet baby! At the moment he is digging through his diaper bag, pulling out snacks, his water bottle, and the few toys I keep in there. He loves to eat - his favorite foods are bananas (his first official word besides Mama and Dada was Nana) and avocados. He has absolutely no interest in walking (which is fine with me HAHA!) but can crawl like a maniac and get all the way around the main floor circle at a ridiculous lightning speed.
My little K3 will be 4 years old in only a month and a half! It's so crazy to think about that, when she was just a couple of months over 3 when she came to us. She has really grown in development over the past 8 months. We have had some pretty serious behavior issues with her; she is in therapy, but at such a young age therapy can only do so much. It is sad to think about the possibilities when it comes to realizing what is behind the behaviors. I have a feeling that part of the deal is that she knows she is in a safe place now, and perhaps her mind has "permission" to start remembering things that maybe it wasn't safe to remember before. I may be wrong about that, and I'm sure there are other factors and triggers as well - I'm quite certain BD told her she was going to come live with him soon - but I think that's at least part of it. She loves to play with babies, and also enjoys coloring, though doesn't always like to sit still and concentrate for very long, as is typical for her developmental age.
Kaleigh has struggled through general number sense in school this first half of the year, but is finally starting to grasp the concepts, and has her addition facts down pretty well. Her general reasoning skills tell me that once she really gets into math, she will excel, so for now we just keep practicing, practicing, practicing! She is reading like a pro now, and of course writing and spelling follow. Her favorite activity is still coloring, though! She is a very meticulous child most of the time, and likes to color detailed pictures, as well as any activity that includes cutting and pasting. A new fun thing she has recently discovered is word search puzzles. It won't be long before she is doing crossword puzzles and playing Scrabble.
Hunter is plowing right along through seventh grade. He's doing pre-algebra work, although the most frustrating thing with him and math is that once he masters a skill, he forgets it. We've had to go back and review some fifth and sixth grade fractions work in the past two weeks; it just makes the new lessons move slowly. He continues to be a voracious reader, which continues to thrill me to my core. He is really enjoying the Rick Riordan books, and keeps reading the different series' over and over. His New Year's gift of "Something to Read" is going to be The Hunger Games, which he has been dying to read; he will be totally surprised because I told him awhile back that he had to wait until he was older. I think it will be good for him though.
At this moment, my Christmas cards are sitting in the UPS warehouse in Sturtevant! It's the first year I've had the time and energy to get cards done, and they are sitting in a warehouse while I could be getting them in envelopes! GRRRR!
I have almost everything I need for the kids' Christmas Eve packages! Pajamas, movies, mugs... need to get slippers, which I will do this weekend, and I saw some of those little fleece blankets for like $5 at Walmart a couple of weeks ago, so if I can find those again, they'll each be getting one of those.
Next week is baking week. I have several recipes ready to go; I'm going to have to swing by Sam's and/or Aldi to get more of the staples before we get started. Hunter's math homework next week will be to double or triple each recipe (depending on how much we need) :-). All three of the kids will practice following directions!
Off to enjoy the last few minutes of Liam's nap before he wakes up...
Monday, November 26, 2012
Practices, Plans, and Projects
Well, as some of you know (and the rest of you are about to find out), we are really changing things up for this time of year in the Shan Clan.
We are no longer going to have "Christmas Presents" - at least not for us. We will be starting a new family tradition of "New Year's Presents," and though we have limited them in the past, we will be limiting them more specifically this year.
One Thing They Want
One Thing They Need
One Thing To Wear
One Thing To Read
This way, we can focus on celebrating Jesus' birthday, and here that means doing things to bless and/or help others. So on Christmas Day, we've settled on several ways in which we will think of others and hopefully spread a little bit of Christ's love and the true meaning of Christmas.
We also decided to take the opportunity to begin a couple of other new traditions, to help us bond as a family and focus on time together. One of those has to do with Christmas Eve. Part of the day will be spent wrapping up preparations for Christmas Day, but then we will have some fun family activities. I have two crafts picked out to do with the kids, and in the afternoon they will each get a "Christmas Eve Package" (still trying to come up with a clever name!). The package will have new pajamas and slippers, new movies (because of my fabulous finds on Amazon, each kiddo is getting 2 movies), a new mug or cup, and a couple of their favorite treats (and anything else I think of between now and then - ideally I'd like to do a new blanket for each of them too, but I don't know if I can get to that by then!). Then we are going to have a hot chocolate bar (yes, I totally got the idea on Pinterest!) with snacks and watch Christmas movies.
I am so excited to see these new traditions come to fruition! The kids know nothing of our plans for Christmas Eve, so it will be a nice surprise for them. They have really gotten excited about our Christmas Day projects, and I am really excited to see them grow and learn to think about others before themselves. (Of course, I try to teach them this every day of the year, but it really irritates me that self-centeredness and greediness run most rampant at the time of year when they should be least!) As I tell the kids, how would you feel if a whole bunch of people came to our house on your birthday, and all brought presents for each other but nothing for you!?
More to come as our plans progress :-).
Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving with your friends and families!!
We are no longer going to have "Christmas Presents" - at least not for us. We will be starting a new family tradition of "New Year's Presents," and though we have limited them in the past, we will be limiting them more specifically this year.
One Thing They Want
One Thing They Need
One Thing To Wear
One Thing To Read
This way, we can focus on celebrating Jesus' birthday, and here that means doing things to bless and/or help others. So on Christmas Day, we've settled on several ways in which we will think of others and hopefully spread a little bit of Christ's love and the true meaning of Christmas.
We also decided to take the opportunity to begin a couple of other new traditions, to help us bond as a family and focus on time together. One of those has to do with Christmas Eve. Part of the day will be spent wrapping up preparations for Christmas Day, but then we will have some fun family activities. I have two crafts picked out to do with the kids, and in the afternoon they will each get a "Christmas Eve Package" (still trying to come up with a clever name!). The package will have new pajamas and slippers, new movies (because of my fabulous finds on Amazon, each kiddo is getting 2 movies), a new mug or cup, and a couple of their favorite treats (and anything else I think of between now and then - ideally I'd like to do a new blanket for each of them too, but I don't know if I can get to that by then!). Then we are going to have a hot chocolate bar (yes, I totally got the idea on Pinterest!) with snacks and watch Christmas movies.
I am so excited to see these new traditions come to fruition! The kids know nothing of our plans for Christmas Eve, so it will be a nice surprise for them. They have really gotten excited about our Christmas Day projects, and I am really excited to see them grow and learn to think about others before themselves. (Of course, I try to teach them this every day of the year, but it really irritates me that self-centeredness and greediness run most rampant at the time of year when they should be least!) As I tell the kids, how would you feel if a whole bunch of people came to our house on your birthday, and all brought presents for each other but nothing for you!?
More to come as our plans progress :-).
Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving with your friends and families!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Family Christmas 2010
The Shan Clan had a wonderful Christmas. We hope your family did as well!
The kids - and grown-ups - all enjoyed their gifts. (Okay, fine, there was one gift that sort of had to be... um... shall we say, graciously accepted.) The grandmas and grandpas all followed the rules about gift-giving, which I have to say really took the majority of my stress out of the day. I really enjoy shopping for others, so I was quite pleased that everyone - kids and adults alike - was happy with their gifts. Randy and I decided not to shop for each other (except for gifts from the kids) this year. We're going to go shopping in a month or two, after we recover, and buy our gifts to each other together.
Of course, the day was not just about gifts! We also had great food, yummy treats, and fun games. The best part of the day was being able to just relax with family and enjoy being together while celebrating Christ's birth.
I hope you all had a blessed day and were able to spend it celebrating with friends and family, and that the remainder of your 2010 is fun and memorable.
The kids - and grown-ups - all enjoyed their gifts. (Okay, fine, there was one gift that sort of had to be... um... shall we say, graciously accepted.) The grandmas and grandpas all followed the rules about gift-giving, which I have to say really took the majority of my stress out of the day. I really enjoy shopping for others, so I was quite pleased that everyone - kids and adults alike - was happy with their gifts. Randy and I decided not to shop for each other (except for gifts from the kids) this year. We're going to go shopping in a month or two, after we recover, and buy our gifts to each other together.
Of course, the day was not just about gifts! We also had great food, yummy treats, and fun games. The best part of the day was being able to just relax with family and enjoy being together while celebrating Christ's birth.
I hope you all had a blessed day and were able to spend it celebrating with friends and family, and that the remainder of your 2010 is fun and memorable.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The (Second) Best Christmas Gift
Randy and I were reflecting the other day on where we were one year ago. We were sitting down with our kids' great-grandparents and both of our lawyers to discuss a schedule of when they were going to see the kids. We were so afraid that we wouldn't be able to come to an agreement and would end up going back to court to see what the judge would decide on. But God showered us with grace and mercy and rewarded our faith by leading us in His will; we came to an agreement that we all could live with, and to top it off, were able to cap it at six months with a follow-up discussion between ourselves at that point. (That has since come and gone, and things continue to go well.)
And so, after six+ long months of court hearings and stress and exhaustive scheduling, the judge granted the TPR and we got the best Christmas present we ever could have hoped for: our children.
But I have to argue that THIS year we have our best Christmas present. Our children are truly ours now, having finalized adoption in February. They have a full family - a mom, dad, brother, and a consistent, permanent home, three sets of involved grandparents/great-grandparents who love them, aunts and uncles, great aunts and uncles, even great-great aunts and uncles, cousins and second cousins. I'm looking forward to watching them enjoy their first "normal" (for lack of a better word) Christmas.
And of course, I'm looking forward to enjoying it as well.
I hope you all have a wonderful, safe,and happy Christmas and holiday season and enjoy spending time with friends and family, wherever you may be. And may you always remember the true meaning of Christmas and the very best Christmas gift any of us have ever received! =)
And so, after six+ long months of court hearings and stress and exhaustive scheduling, the judge granted the TPR and we got the best Christmas present we ever could have hoped for: our children.
But I have to argue that THIS year we have our best Christmas present. Our children are truly ours now, having finalized adoption in February. They have a full family - a mom, dad, brother, and a consistent, permanent home, three sets of involved grandparents/great-grandparents who love them, aunts and uncles, great aunts and uncles, even great-great aunts and uncles, cousins and second cousins. I'm looking forward to watching them enjoy their first "normal" (for lack of a better word) Christmas.
And of course, I'm looking forward to enjoying it as well.
I hope you all have a wonderful, safe,and happy Christmas and holiday season and enjoy spending time with friends and family, wherever you may be. And may you always remember the true meaning of Christmas and the very best Christmas gift any of us have ever received! =)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Frustration
Don't get me wrong here. I'm grateful that the process of keeping my kids in touch with their Great Grandparents has been relatively smooth and not fraught with bitterness and resentment. And I'm very thankful for the grace God has given me in having to deal with them on a regular basis.
But I am still frustrated with their behavior.
They have been told repeatedly they are not to give the children things unless it is a birthday or a holiday, and even on those times, they are given a spending limit and we have to approve their gifts before they are given.
Lest you think we are cold-hearted and controlling, take a moment to imagine a nine year old knowing he is going to get a Play*station 3 for Christmas simply because "My Grandpa asked me what I wanted and that is what I told him, so that's how I know what I'm getting." Imagine a two year old who wants her brother's DS and refuses to leave him alone when he is playing it, and so because she wants one "so badly," her Great Grandparents buy her one of her own. Imagine two children returning home after six hours with said Great Grandparents, hauling enough stuff to fit into EIGHT garbage bags, and then not missing the two-thirds of it that is subsequently given away to charity.
These are just a few of the reasons we have rules about gift-giving. I also believe that is the right and privilege of the parents to buy the children their most "extravagant" gifts, and I do not think it is right for parents to be upstaged by other family members (if they don't want to be). Don't take that the wrong way; it's just that these particular Grandparents are like dealing with ex-spouses: they use gift giving as an attempt to buy the children's love, and since I have the power to stop it (unlike with exes), I'm going to exercise that power.
Back to the issue at hand. Even though they have been told - not just once or twice or even six times - numerous times not to buy things for the children, they continue to do it. "Oh, I had 30% off at Kohl's and I just couldn't resist." "Oh I just saw this and I knew s/he wanted one." "This was so cute I just couldn't pass it up."
IT'S
GETTING
OLD
For Hunter's birthday, they were told to spend no more than $35, and I strongly suggested a Lego set, since there are some decent ones for around that range. What did they show up with? A $100+ Lego set. "Livid" does not begin to describe it. We confronted them then and there, but didn't feel that we could tell Hunter he wasn't getting the gift, since he had already seen it. We did, however, tell them that if that ever happened again, they would not be allowed to give the gifts. We also prepped Hunter for the possibility of that happening at Christmas. (I explained to him that his Grandparents are allowed to get him one gift, just like all his other relatives, and that if they don't follow the rules, they will be returning the gifts.) This was important for two reasons: 1) the possibility of disappointment if they showed up with a bunch of gifts and he thought he would be keeping them, and 2) he is notorious for asking them for tons of things because he knows they will buy whatever he asks for.
Earlier this week, it happened again, this time with Kaleigh. I show up to pick up the kids; I am met with a PILE of clothes on the couch - oh and by the way, these clothes were shown to me THREE WEEKS AGO and I told her to give a few of them (told her specifically which ones) to Kaleigh for Christmas and return the others to the store. Now she is showing them to me again, asking me YET AGAIN "Can Kaleigh take these home?" It was all I could do not to explode. And to top it off, half the clothes she picks out are either just plain U.G.L.Y. or so grown up I wouldn't let a fourteen year old wear them, let alone a four year old.
The Great Grandparents wanted to know if they were going to get the kids for their own "Christmas" like they did last year.
"Last year was a different situation!" I wanted to scream. We are a FAMILY now. They don't go separately to separate extended family's houses and have a whole bunch of Christmases. They have Christmas on Christmas Day with US and all of their family who chooses to spend Christmas with us.
I am beside myself as we get ready for Christmas. These people still don't get it that these are OUR children. They live at OUR house. They do not have multiple parents; they do not have multiple houses. They have the mindset of a divorcee who still has rights to her children and a separate home where the children live part of the time and have different rules and belongings and behaviors.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is not the situation we have here!!!!!!!! Why do they not get that WE. ARE. IN. CHARGE.???????
Sorry. Almost had a meltdown there for a second.
Seriously, though. I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I'm tired of saying "I don't want you buying things for the children anymore," and being met with the oh-I-was-just-trying-to-do-something-nice eyes. Because it's not because they want to do something nice. It's because they still want to believe THEY are parenting and controlling these children (not that I believe for a second the two go hand in hand, but in their case, it did).
Because I swear before God and all of you as witnesses, if they cross the boundaries of what I told them to buy for Christmas, they will lose their gift-giving privileges across the entire board. I am truly at that point.
But I am still frustrated with their behavior.
They have been told repeatedly they are not to give the children things unless it is a birthday or a holiday, and even on those times, they are given a spending limit and we have to approve their gifts before they are given.
Lest you think we are cold-hearted and controlling, take a moment to imagine a nine year old knowing he is going to get a Play*station 3 for Christmas simply because "My Grandpa asked me what I wanted and that is what I told him, so that's how I know what I'm getting." Imagine a two year old who wants her brother's DS and refuses to leave him alone when he is playing it, and so because she wants one "so badly," her Great Grandparents buy her one of her own. Imagine two children returning home after six hours with said Great Grandparents, hauling enough stuff to fit into EIGHT garbage bags, and then not missing the two-thirds of it that is subsequently given away to charity.
These are just a few of the reasons we have rules about gift-giving. I also believe that is the right and privilege of the parents to buy the children their most "extravagant" gifts, and I do not think it is right for parents to be upstaged by other family members (if they don't want to be). Don't take that the wrong way; it's just that these particular Grandparents are like dealing with ex-spouses: they use gift giving as an attempt to buy the children's love, and since I have the power to stop it (unlike with exes), I'm going to exercise that power.
Back to the issue at hand. Even though they have been told - not just once or twice or even six times - numerous times not to buy things for the children, they continue to do it. "Oh, I had 30% off at Kohl's and I just couldn't resist." "Oh I just saw this and I knew s/he wanted one." "This was so cute I just couldn't pass it up."
IT'S
GETTING
OLD
For Hunter's birthday, they were told to spend no more than $35, and I strongly suggested a Lego set, since there are some decent ones for around that range. What did they show up with? A $100+ Lego set. "Livid" does not begin to describe it. We confronted them then and there, but didn't feel that we could tell Hunter he wasn't getting the gift, since he had already seen it. We did, however, tell them that if that ever happened again, they would not be allowed to give the gifts. We also prepped Hunter for the possibility of that happening at Christmas. (I explained to him that his Grandparents are allowed to get him one gift, just like all his other relatives, and that if they don't follow the rules, they will be returning the gifts.) This was important for two reasons: 1) the possibility of disappointment if they showed up with a bunch of gifts and he thought he would be keeping them, and 2) he is notorious for asking them for tons of things because he knows they will buy whatever he asks for.
Earlier this week, it happened again, this time with Kaleigh. I show up to pick up the kids; I am met with a PILE of clothes on the couch - oh and by the way, these clothes were shown to me THREE WEEKS AGO and I told her to give a few of them (told her specifically which ones) to Kaleigh for Christmas and return the others to the store. Now she is showing them to me again, asking me YET AGAIN "Can Kaleigh take these home?" It was all I could do not to explode. And to top it off, half the clothes she picks out are either just plain U.G.L.Y. or so grown up I wouldn't let a fourteen year old wear them, let alone a four year old.
The Great Grandparents wanted to know if they were going to get the kids for their own "Christmas" like they did last year.
"Last year was a different situation!" I wanted to scream. We are a FAMILY now. They don't go separately to separate extended family's houses and have a whole bunch of Christmases. They have Christmas on Christmas Day with US and all of their family who chooses to spend Christmas with us.
I am beside myself as we get ready for Christmas. These people still don't get it that these are OUR children. They live at OUR house. They do not have multiple parents; they do not have multiple houses. They have the mindset of a divorcee who still has rights to her children and a separate home where the children live part of the time and have different rules and belongings and behaviors.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is not the situation we have here!!!!!!!! Why do they not get that WE. ARE. IN. CHARGE.???????
Sorry. Almost had a meltdown there for a second.
Seriously, though. I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I'm tired of saying "I don't want you buying things for the children anymore," and being met with the oh-I-was-just-trying-to-do-something-nice eyes. Because it's not because they want to do something nice. It's because they still want to believe THEY are parenting and controlling these children (not that I believe for a second the two go hand in hand, but in their case, it did).
Because I swear before God and all of you as witnesses, if they cross the boundaries of what I told them to buy for Christmas, they will lose their gift-giving privileges across the entire board. I am truly at that point.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
This and That
There is a nasty bug going around these parts, and it has infested our home. Randy and Kaleigh got the respiratory part of it; Ryan got the stomach part of it; Hunter and I have not gotten any of it yet. I, however, appear to have a bit of a sinus infection. I'm doing my best to fight it with vitamins, juice, tea, and my Neti pot.
My final project - a group project - is due in tonight's class. My final project for the other class is due next week. My last class period for tonight's class is next week, and the take home final exam is due the week after that. It is so nice to be within sight of the end of the semester. It is really hard to believe how quickly the semester has gone, especially when I think back to the first day of class, when I drove to campus literally in tears over the amount of work and seriously considering dropping my classes. That level of freak-out-ness was one I hadn't experienced in about seven years. Now that it's almost done, it doesn't seem like nearly as much work as it looked like on paper three months ago.
I completed my NaNo on Tuesday night with an extra 400+ words and two hours to spare. It was the first time since beginning the annual challenge that I have not still been pounding frantically on my keyboard at 11:58 p.m. on November 30. It was also the first year I worked on two novels simultaneously, which I think helped a lot with my writer's block issues (they are common and frequent). It also leaves me with a lot more to work on in the next few months, but I am actually looking forward to it. I am very pleased with the way both storylines are going right now, and I feel good about the ideas I chose this year.
Hunter also participated this year, in the NaNo Young Writer's Program. He also reached his goal of 3000 words, with a few extra words as well. He also completed his story. Next week, we will spend some time together editing it, during which time I will get to read it for the very first time. I am very excited about that. He gets a free printed copy of his little novel, which he and I both think is pretty awesome.
Speaking of school - oh, wait, I really wasn't speaking of school. Well, Hunter's novel was part of his school for the month of November. There, I mentioned it. Now speaking of school, Hunter is doing very well. His math still leaves room for improvement, but it is improving, which is good. Everything else is also improving, and it is obvious to everyone that he is quite intelligent. In fact, this writing project makes it even more obvious.
My brother and sister-in-law are here, and because of our illnesses, I haven't been able to see them yet. Tomorrow night, we are having Christmas with them at my mom's house. I am very excited about giving them their gifts from us. And nervous. I hope they like them. Speaking of which, I still have one of them to finish up today - and maybe tomorrow; we'll see how today goes.
My mom is so wonderful that she is going to take my kiddos today a couple of hours early. She usually comes to our house on Thursdays to watch them while I go to class. Today she asked if I could meet her with them and she could take them to her house, since my brother and sister-in-law are here. Of course I didn't mind a bit, and since I'm not feeling well - and just generally need a little time to myself - she offered to take them early so I could have that. She is such a great mom - all the time and in lots of ways, but this is just one of the ways she proves it.
Love you, Mom :).
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Holiday Preparation
Well, the kids and I have been continuing our morning devotions, but I have been so busy of late that I haven't had the chance to type them up as posts. We haven't even been to the Y in the last couple of weeks, because we've had so much to do that I worry about not having that extra two hours every morning to stay on top of things. I'm hoping after next week (my brother and sister-in-law are coming for an early Christmas), we will be able to get back into the swing of things.
Because of the values we want to teach our children about Christmas and gifts, we decided to put some guidelines on the adult gift-giving as well. We always put a limit out there (some are better at following it than others. Just sayin'.), but this year we also added a "creativity" caveat. Now, some of us will be better at following that than others, too. Some of us are having a lot of fun with that, too.
Yesterday, the kids and I went to Michael's to search for Thanksgiving crafts. (Wait til you see what we came out with.) And of course, in traditional Michael's style, the first aisle (the main aisle, the aisle you have to walk down to get to all other aisles) was fully stocked with a variety of Christmas crafts. So, after retrieving the supplies for our Thanksgiving crafts, we returned to the main aisle and each of the kids hunted down a project they could make for the members of their extended family (4 calling grandparents, 3 French uncles, and an aunt in a pear tree. Or, maybe not.). Anyway, they had a blast; they've never picked out individual gifts to give people before (last year, Christmas was a little... weird. And stressed. Very stressed.) I'm hoping they will learn something about giving this year, rather than focusing on "what I'm getting."
In other holiday preparation, I have to say that while I was feeling guilty about being glad that my mother basically ordered me not to make a single thing for Thanksgiving dinner, I am completely over that now. She assured me that she wants to make it all, and I assured her that I am more than happy to not have to worry about it this year. Also, I bought a box's worth of assorted wines as my offering to the festivities, so that certainly didn't hurt in helping to assuage my guilt.
Ryan will not be with us this year for Thanksgiving; we get him every other year, and this is not our year. In the past, when he has been with us, he has spent time at my mom's house during the day or two before the big day, helping to prepare the big feast. Last year, he spent two nights, making his brother very jealous. Well, this year is Hunter's turn. Tomorrow, he gets to go to Grandma's house and spend the night, helping her with all the cooking and baking. He's very excited. I'm rather excited myself. I wonder if I can find anyone to take the other little monster.
Just kidding. Sort of.
Actually, she and her daddy are going to spend some much-needed time together while I camp out at the bookstore and catch up on the writing that I've gotten sorely behind on this week.
Well, I guess that's all there is to share on the holiday prep stuff, at least for now. There actually is a lot more that I really really want to share, but can't, since it would spoil the fun for a few of you. You know who - oh, wait, no you don't know who you are. Buahuahahahahahahaha.
Because of the values we want to teach our children about Christmas and gifts, we decided to put some guidelines on the adult gift-giving as well. We always put a limit out there (some are better at following it than others. Just sayin'.), but this year we also added a "creativity" caveat. Now, some of us will be better at following that than others, too. Some of us are having a lot of fun with that, too.
Yesterday, the kids and I went to Michael's to search for Thanksgiving crafts. (Wait til you see what we came out with.) And of course, in traditional Michael's style, the first aisle (the main aisle, the aisle you have to walk down to get to all other aisles) was fully stocked with a variety of Christmas crafts. So, after retrieving the supplies for our Thanksgiving crafts, we returned to the main aisle and each of the kids hunted down a project they could make for the members of their extended family (4 calling grandparents, 3 French uncles, and an aunt in a pear tree. Or, maybe not.). Anyway, they had a blast; they've never picked out individual gifts to give people before (last year, Christmas was a little... weird. And stressed. Very stressed.) I'm hoping they will learn something about giving this year, rather than focusing on "what I'm getting."
In other holiday preparation, I have to say that while I was feeling guilty about being glad that my mother basically ordered me not to make a single thing for Thanksgiving dinner, I am completely over that now. She assured me that she wants to make it all, and I assured her that I am more than happy to not have to worry about it this year. Also, I bought a box's worth of assorted wines as my offering to the festivities, so that certainly didn't hurt in helping to assuage my guilt.
Ryan will not be with us this year for Thanksgiving; we get him every other year, and this is not our year. In the past, when he has been with us, he has spent time at my mom's house during the day or two before the big day, helping to prepare the big feast. Last year, he spent two nights, making his brother very jealous. Well, this year is Hunter's turn. Tomorrow, he gets to go to Grandma's house and spend the night, helping her with all the cooking and baking. He's very excited. I'm rather excited myself. I wonder if I can find anyone to take the other little monster.
Just kidding. Sort of.
Actually, she and her daddy are going to spend some much-needed time together while I camp out at the bookstore and catch up on the writing that I've gotten sorely behind on this week.
Well, I guess that's all there is to share on the holiday prep stuff, at least for now. There actually is a lot more that I really really want to share, but can't, since it would spoil the fun for a few of you. You know who - oh, wait, no you don't know who you are. Buahuahahahahahahaha.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Random Thoughts and Updates
Oops - it's been more than a month since the last time that I wrote. I've actually thought about posting a number of times this month, but sometimes I sit here and stare at the blank page thinking that whatever I write will sound mundane and dull.
Homeschooling is going really well. Hunter is now working at fifth grade level in every subject except math. We went back to basics in math, and he has been memorizing his basic multiplication facts (I still can't get over the fact that in fourth grade, he wasn't memorizing the single digit multiplication facts - in fact, he was still doing addition and subtraction). He's doing very well with that though, and I have no doubts that he will be doing fifth grade math very soon. In reading and spelling, he has been doing fifth grade work since the beginning of the year, and while we had a rocky start, he is now plowing ahead and doing well at both subjects.
In fact, last week we did his second spelling test. He had gotten 10 out of 20 words right on his first spelling test two weeks before. The second week, we devoted extra time to the words he missed, and on a second test he got them all right. Last week when we did his second spelling test, he only missed 2 words!
In social studies, we are working on a United States nation notebook this semester. Next semester we will pick another country to do a notebook on. Hunter is enjoying this project because he gets to use the computer. I like it because it doubles as typing class and he doesn't even realize he's having a second class! Although we are going to find some typing games to help him continue to sharpen those skills.
Now that it is the first week of October, we will begin the pre-work on his novel for November's National Novel Writing Month challenge - sketching a rough plot outline, characters, etc. This is where the typing games will come in, so that he can be fully prepared to meet the goals he sets for himself. In the Young Writer's Program, the participants get to choose their own word count goal before beginning their novels. We received our supplies this week for the challenge - buttons, progress chart, stickers - and I think that if we meet our halfway goals, I will reward us with NaNoWriMo t-shirts. I have wanted to get one ever since I started in 2006. I'm really looking forward to sharing this project with Hunter; I hope he enjoys it every bit as much as I have.
Our Bible curriculum finally came last week, so we'll begin that this week. Hunter has been working on his verses for Awana for Bible, so I think we'll alternate that with the Bible workbook.
Last week was a rough week all around. Randy had surgery on Wednesday, and Kaleigh and I had upper respiratory infections all week and are still getting over them. My mom was kind enough to take the kids on Friday and Saturday so that I could spend the days at the hospital with Randy. He's doing well, and we're hoping he'll be coming home this week.
I've started on Christmas presents this week. We're doing something a little different with the adults this year; we set a price limit and a "rule" that we have to be creative. I can't say here what I'm doing for that, but I can say I'm pretty excited about it.
I guess that's about all the update for now. I'll try to keep up a little more often from now on. But no promises... ;-)
Homeschooling is going really well. Hunter is now working at fifth grade level in every subject except math. We went back to basics in math, and he has been memorizing his basic multiplication facts (I still can't get over the fact that in fourth grade, he wasn't memorizing the single digit multiplication facts - in fact, he was still doing addition and subtraction). He's doing very well with that though, and I have no doubts that he will be doing fifth grade math very soon. In reading and spelling, he has been doing fifth grade work since the beginning of the year, and while we had a rocky start, he is now plowing ahead and doing well at both subjects.
In fact, last week we did his second spelling test. He had gotten 10 out of 20 words right on his first spelling test two weeks before. The second week, we devoted extra time to the words he missed, and on a second test he got them all right. Last week when we did his second spelling test, he only missed 2 words!
In social studies, we are working on a United States nation notebook this semester. Next semester we will pick another country to do a notebook on. Hunter is enjoying this project because he gets to use the computer. I like it because it doubles as typing class and he doesn't even realize he's having a second class! Although we are going to find some typing games to help him continue to sharpen those skills.
Now that it is the first week of October, we will begin the pre-work on his novel for November's National Novel Writing Month challenge - sketching a rough plot outline, characters, etc. This is where the typing games will come in, so that he can be fully prepared to meet the goals he sets for himself. In the Young Writer's Program, the participants get to choose their own word count goal before beginning their novels. We received our supplies this week for the challenge - buttons, progress chart, stickers - and I think that if we meet our halfway goals, I will reward us with NaNoWriMo t-shirts. I have wanted to get one ever since I started in 2006. I'm really looking forward to sharing this project with Hunter; I hope he enjoys it every bit as much as I have.
Our Bible curriculum finally came last week, so we'll begin that this week. Hunter has been working on his verses for Awana for Bible, so I think we'll alternate that with the Bible workbook.
Last week was a rough week all around. Randy had surgery on Wednesday, and Kaleigh and I had upper respiratory infections all week and are still getting over them. My mom was kind enough to take the kids on Friday and Saturday so that I could spend the days at the hospital with Randy. He's doing well, and we're hoping he'll be coming home this week.
I've started on Christmas presents this week. We're doing something a little different with the adults this year; we set a price limit and a "rule" that we have to be creative. I can't say here what I'm doing for that, but I can say I'm pretty excited about it.
I guess that's about all the update for now. I'll try to keep up a little more often from now on. But no promises... ;-)
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