Stuff and Things

SO much has happened since my last post.  (I know, I know - you're tired of hearing that EVERY time I write.)

We had an AWESOME start to the school year.  We have, for the most part, stuck with a good routine and daily schedule, switching it up here and there when necessary.  These last week and a half have been a bit too relaxed for my liking, but next week is our Fall 9-week Break, which is sorely needed; and I fully expect us to start strong again after that. 

Part of the reason we've had a relaxed couple of weeks is because I made and canned 18 quarts of apple sauce and about 2 dozen quarts of apple cider.  Then my dad "surprised" me with two HUGE boxes of grapes from his buddy's vineyard; so last week, with the kids' help, I got about half of them done and canned into grape juice.  I have 6 dozen quarts so far, which means there are another 6-8 dozen quarts' worth of grapes left to can.  Oh, and I'm down to a dozen jars, AFTER buying another 2 dozen last week.  So this should be interesting.

K3's TPR was FINALLY filed with the court, and the initial appearance hearing was Monday.  It was adjourned.  It will likely be adjourned again.  If you remember from Liam's case, this is the norm.  But I'm more frustrated about this case than I was with his, because she shouldn't even have to be worrying about permanence.  This should have been over and done a long time ago.  I continue to pray for a miracle, but it's hard not to be discouraged some days.

Liam turned TWO a couple of weeks ago!  It's pretty ridiculous; I still can't really believe he's 2 already.  It still seems like it was just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital.  Soon my K4 will also be 2; not sure how I feel about having two 2 year olds!  

Speaking of K4, we have, after much discussion and mind-changing and negotiating, come up with her new name.  :-D

Friday is November 1st, which means the beginning of National Novel Writing Month.  For the past three years, Hunter has joined me in the novel-writing adventure.  This year, Kaleigh will also participate!  For those who are not familiar with the Young Writer's Program branch of NaNoWriMo, the coolest part about it is that participants choose their own word count.  The kids and I discussed and agreed upon their word counts for this year; but I can't tell you what they are juuuuuuust yet.  Don't worry; you'll find out soon enough ;-).

Randy and I took the kids out to the county park for their annual "school" pics this past Sunday afternoon.  I SO wish I could share them here, but I can't.  Well, I can actually share pictures of three of them, but since I can't share them all, I don't really want to share any.  It doesn't feel right.

I guess those are the highlights.  

The day-to-day feels like a grind many days.  Liam and K4 take turns (or sometimes not) being whiny and clingy.  K2 and K3 take turns being deliberately disobedient.  Hunter can't quite figure out how to get to the maturity level of a 13 year old.  But Liam and K4 also take turns wanting kisses and hugs.  K2 and K3 are doing amazingly better at getting along with each other than they were several months ago.  Hunter is learning, even though slowly, and sometimes I am somewhat taken aback by his thoughtfulness and kind-heartedness.  So just as many days are fun and exciting and enjoyable.

Time to go think about dinner for tonight.

Adoption!!!

I know, I know; I've owed you all a post for over a week now.  The truth is, this week was a come-down-from-the-stress-of-the-previous-two-weeks week, for lack of a better description.

I got so keyed up doing paperwork, cleaning the house, making plans, shopping for party things and gifts, and cleaning the house some more, that I needed more of a relaxation period than I expected.  And then those last couple of days before (and the morning of) the adoption, there is that, "Oh my gosh, something is going to happen to get in the way of this!" feeling.  It's probably stronger when you've been through enough ridiculous situations that you know from experience that IT IS NOT FINAL UNTIL THE JUDGE SIGNS THE PAPER.  That feeling on top of the other stress results in very little sleep at a time when it is needed more than any ordinary week.  BUT, I am convinced that college was prep for parenthood.  I got through it, and with the help of my wonderful husband and kids, the house was nearly spotless for the party on Saturday.

The adoption was bright and early Friday morning.  We were so blessed to have a very nice group of family and close friends present for the adoption.  It was really cool to have some of the people who have been close to us throughout our entire "Liam journey" with us while he became a legal permanent member of our family.  Among them were my mom and brother; my cousin, who also happens to be one of my closest friends, and my two little "nieces;" one of my very best friends, who has been beside us on this journey since holding teensy Liam on his first Sunday at church; and Liam's awesome caseworker (who, yes, was required to be there, but who I would have asked to be there anyway - without her, this would not have happened so quickly or so smoothly). Our children were, of course, there; and Randy's older daughter was even able to be there, though she lives out of state.

I'm so so so thankful that God has led us to adoption, and brought our sweet, beautiful, wonderful children into our lives.  No, parenting them is not always easy; often it is more difficult than parenting bio children, because of all the "extras" they bring with them.  But I could not love them more if they had been born to me, I truly know that.  Adopting is such a wonderful, awesome thing that you can't even imagine unless you experience it - and it is such a great reminder every day of how God has adopted us and made us His children.

Thank you to all who have followed us through Liam's foster journey, and for all of your support and kind words.  The journey has not ended; it has only changed in definition and destination, for which we are eternally grateful, and which responsibility we will strive to uphold and live up to, and which privilege we will strive to be worthy of, to the best of our human ability.

One Week!!

There is much cleaning to commence, a bathroom to paint, a scrapbook to complete, and a blanket to sew, before the big day!

So I will leave you simply with this:

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to Him.  Therefore I have lent him to the LORD.  As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD."  I Samuel 1:27-28

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Upcoming

In just 10 short days, Liam will legally be Liam!  And he will be a legal Shanahan!  It's so weird to look at him and think his old name - it never did fit him.  He has always been a Liam!  In fact, his paternal grandma, who we keep in touch with, told me that BD wanted to name him Liam before he was born!  I guess he really has always been a Liam :-).

Things are a tad crazy around here, what with planning for an open house (if you've been to my house you know that it definitely always looks... lived in!) and getting paperwork done for the adoption.  I'm a little anxious about the open house, since we've never had a get together bigger than just family before; it would be easier if the weather was nice so that we could expand to the patio and deck, but I am very thankful we have all the space we have this time around!

If you are coming, we look forward to seeing you!

I'll be posting all about the adoption in about a week and a half :-).  I can't wait to be able to post pics of him and show him off to the rest of my world :-).

Early Christmas!

"Merry Christmas!"

That's what Liam's case manager said when she called at 11:00 this morning.

I sat in stunned silence for a moment, unsure of whether it "meant" something or she was just giving me a cheerful greeting to begin her phone call.

You see, today was the day our court hearing for the TPR for Liam's birth mom was supposed to begin; we wouldn't even know until today whether our case made it into the court room today, because they schedule 5 trials to begin every Monday.  We found out last week that we were second on the docket, and the case who was ahead of us might not be ready to begin today; but we still wouldn't know for sure until this morning.  I didn't go to court, because it is an hour drive, and it didn't make sense since we didn't know if it would begin, and I wouldn't have been allowed in for the trial anyway, since I was subpoenaed.  

So I was expecting the CM to call, and had to assume trial began today, since court started at 8:30, and she wasn't calling until almost 3 hours later.  But that was the most I could hope for.

"Um...  Does that mean you have good news for me?" I asked slowly.

"Yes!" she replied excitedly.  "BM terminated her rights voluntarily!"

"Really??  I mean, really??  It's done??"

"Yep!  The judge asked her all the questions and went though everything, and then she left.  Then I gave my testimony and he scheduled the adoption!"

She then proceeded to give me the date for the adoption, and then went back and told me a few more details about her conversation with BM before court.  

She's coming on Thursday for a home visit, so I may hear more about it then, but honestly I doubt there's much to tell.  

Three years ago today, we got the same exact Christmas present.  This was the very same day Hunter and Kaleigh's TPRs were finalized.  (***CORRECTION: I went back to check the facts, and Hunter and Kaleigh were actually TPR'd a week earlier.  My apologies for the mistake!!***)   Liam's adoption date falls just 4 days after theirs!  Which is way cool, because we'll have an AWESOME way to celebrate Hunter and Kaleigh's adoption day this year - and they'll all celebrate at the same time every year.  It's just really cool.

And of course we are humbled and grateful to God for His mercy and grace, shown to our family and to our sweet little boy who has already brought so much joy to our lives.  We are blessed beyond measure.

Multiple Updates

I know the update on Liam is what everyone is reading for, so I'll lead with that.  Then if you don't want to hear about the hum-drum stuff, you don't have to.  ;-)

(Just a reminder, Liam is not yet his legal name; so we aren't breaking any rules here.)

We had pretrial this week, and while I didn't go, the CW updated me after the hearing.  BM was still going to fight because she "thinks she deserves the chance to parent him."  Yeah, don't even get me started.  Then her lawyer asked for the hearing to be rescheduled, but the judge denied his request, because there is only one other case ahead of ours, and it sounds like there is a pretty good chance they won't be ready - which means our trial would start Monday!  I received a subpoena in the mail last week from the DA's office; I'm not sure if they will actually want me to testify or if they did it just in case they go right into the Best Interest phase after the Grounds phase is complete.  (I can't imagine any reason I would be called to testify in the Grounds phase, since that is about proving there are sufficient grounds for TPR, and the Best Interest phase is about deciding what is in the best interest of child as far as permanency.  Typically a foster parent would be called in the Best Interest phase in order to state their desire/willingness to adopt the child.)

Apparently the judge gave BM a speech about doing what was best for Liam, and her attorney and a permanency counselor were still going to talk to her after trial about doing voluntary.  Still, I have to say, I don't really want her to do voluntary.  She is the person who would turn it around on herself, brag that she "gave her son up for adoption" (which is an inaccurate statement when CPS is involved), and try to make everyone feel sorry for her and believe she is a selfless person.  Yes, I'm aware it sounds somewhat selfish, or bitter, but after everything she has put him and us through over the past two years (because she was abusing him in utero), she should go through a trial and see what that's like.  But, that's neither here nor there; we will see on Monday how it goes.

The Little Man in question is teething, once again getting four teeth at once.  Between that and the periodic withdrawals, he can be quite the crank monster, not to mention he is drooling like nobody's business.  He still has his happy times though, which I am very thankful for - he is such a sweet baby!  At the moment he is digging through his diaper bag, pulling out snacks, his water bottle, and the few toys I keep in there.  He loves to eat - his favorite foods are bananas (his first official word besides Mama and Dada was Nana) and avocados.  He has absolutely no interest in walking (which is fine with me HAHA!) but can crawl like a maniac and get all the way around the main floor circle at a ridiculous lightning speed.

My little K3 will be 4 years old in only a month and a half!  It's so crazy to think about that, when she was just a couple of months over 3 when she came to us.  She has really grown in development over the past 8 months.  We have had some pretty serious behavior issues with her; she is in therapy, but at such a young age therapy can only do so much.  It is sad to think about the possibilities when it comes to realizing what is behind the behaviors.  I have a feeling that part of the deal is that she knows she is in a safe place now, and perhaps her mind has "permission" to start remembering things that maybe it wasn't safe to remember before.  I may be wrong about that, and I'm sure there are other factors and triggers as well - I'm quite certain BD told her she was going to come live with him soon - but I think that's at least part of it.  She loves to play with babies, and also enjoys coloring, though doesn't always like to sit still and concentrate for very long, as is typical for her developmental age.

Kaleigh has struggled through general number sense in school this first half of the year, but is finally starting to grasp the concepts, and has her addition facts down pretty well.  Her general reasoning skills tell me that once she really gets into math, she will excel, so for now we just keep practicing, practicing, practicing!  She is reading like a pro now, and of course writing and spelling follow.  Her favorite activity is still coloring, though!  She is a very meticulous child most of the time, and likes to color detailed pictures, as well as any activity that includes cutting and pasting.  A new fun thing she has recently discovered is word search puzzles.  It won't be long before she is doing crossword puzzles and playing Scrabble.

Hunter is plowing right along through seventh grade.  He's doing pre-algebra work, although the most frustrating thing with him and math is that once he masters a skill, he forgets it.  We've had to go back and review some fifth and sixth grade fractions work in the past two weeks; it just makes the new lessons move slowly.  He continues to be a voracious reader, which continues to thrill me to my core.  He is really enjoying the Rick Riordan books, and keeps reading the different series' over and over.  His New Year's gift of "Something to Read" is going to be The Hunger Games, which he has been dying to read; he will be totally surprised because I told him awhile back that he had to wait until he was older.  I think it will be good for him though.

At this moment, my Christmas cards are sitting in the UPS warehouse in Sturtevant! It's the first year I've had the time and energy to get cards done, and they are sitting in a warehouse while I could be getting them in envelopes!  GRRRR!

I have almost everything I need for the kids' Christmas Eve packages!  Pajamas, movies, mugs... need to get slippers, which I will do this weekend, and I saw some of those little fleece blankets for like $5 at Walmart a couple of weeks ago, so if I can find those again, they'll each be getting one of those.  

Next week is baking week.  I have several recipes ready to go; I'm going to have to swing by Sam's and/or Aldi to get more of the staples before we get started.  Hunter's math homework next week will be to double or triple each recipe (depending on how much we need) :-).  All three of the kids will practice following directions!

Off to enjoy the last few minutes of Liam's nap before he wakes up...

Shortest. Update. Ever.

Nothing happened.








Okay, okay.  I'll give you more detail.

BM is still incarcerated.  Because she gives a different last name every time she gets picked up, the OTP (order to produce) put in by the DA wasn't followed through; it had her legal last name, which didn't match the last name she gave when she was booked this last time.  So, she wasn't at court.

As it turned out, it didn't matter anyway.  Her attorney hasn't been able to get a hold of her (no surprise to anyone who has known her any length of time, as no attorney in the history of attorneys has ever been able to get a hold of her), and he told the DA last week that he was planning to dismiss his motion to request visitation.  He didn't even know until today that she was in custody!

What would have been nice is if he or the DA had let the CW know this was going to happen.  It was quite the waste of time.  (By the way, being incarcerated, she wouldn't have gotten visitation anyway.)

However, the next hearing is in December for the Pre-Trial.  There won't be a chance to ask for visitation again before that.  TBSS.  A comment her attorney made sounded like he is trying to convince her to do voluntary, which only makes sense.  She is the only person involved in this case who thinks she has a chance.

So, that's that.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled...  uh....  Facebook stalking.  ;-)

Belated

I realize I never posted an update after court last time.  The truth is, I was too disappointed to try to formulate any concrete thoughts on the matter.

Nothing happened.  We half-expected BM to voluntarily terminate, since she had been claiming she was going to, and we knew her lawyer was counseling her to do so.  However, she showed up at court and decided she was "better" and was going to fight it.  She honestly believed she had a chance to get him back.  She already didn't.  The next day she was arrested for bail violation and has been incarcerated since then.  Tomorrow there is a hearing for her to request visitation, which has been suspended since the beginning of August. 

She has a sentencing hearing next week for her multiple outstanding criminal charges.  We don't know what will happen there, but there is potential for her to get time.  That just gives her even less of a chance at trial.

The trial is scheduled for December, but there is about a 90% chance it will get rescheduled, since the court schedules 5 hearings for every Monday, and if more than one of them are trials that go forward, they are taken in order of who has been waiting the longest.  That won't be us.  So we will probably end rescheduled for February or March.

I'm still praying the way I've been praying all along: that BM will come tomorrow and realize that she does not have a chance and voluntarily terminate.  There is so much going on between the two cases right now that it would just be nice to get a small reprieve in all of this.  As always, I'm not getting my hopes up; but I can still continue to pray.

I will try to post an update after tomorrow morning's hearing.  No promises though, obviously.

Little of This, Little of That

Things are quiet on the legal front.  

The next hearing on K3's case is on Wednesday; we will not be attending.  We haven't attended a single hearing for her yet, because they've all been for minor things.  And with the way things are going, I'm really glad we haven't wasted our time there.  On Wednesday, it is expected that the DA will drop the TPR petition.  Everything will start over from here as far as the TPR timeline.  In six months, they can file again; they can still use the material and evidence from the past two years, which I was grateful to hear.  There is no telling what BD will do; this case has turned from an almost guaranteed adoption into a waiting game.  And yes, we know as foster parents that everything is a waiting game and nothing is final until it's final.  But you certainly have a different mindset when you get a child who is on the way to TPR than when you get a child that is yet an unknown.  Not that we would love her any less; but you just have it in your head that you can't get your hopes up.  She was supposed to be our "easy" case, the one we didn't have to worry about.  Oh well.  God knows.  He certainly hears our prayers. 

The next hearing on Liam's case isn't until a week from Tuesday.  I really don't know what to expect.  BM just continues to spiral downward more and more out of control.  

Things on the home front are a different story.

Homeschooling more than one child at a time is certainly and interesting and challenging - but of course fun - adventure.  Hunter is in seventh, and Kaleigh is in first.  I am doing some pre-K work with K3, but not on a daily basis.  We are doing Social Studies, Science, and Literature together each morning; then we have a special (different each day), then lunch.  In the afternoon, K3 and Liam (hopefully) nap while I do math, spelling/writing, language, and reading comp with Kaleigh and Hunter.  They each do grade-appropriate work.  I really enjoy the freedom to choose what my children will learn and stay, as well as the ability to schedule their days/weeks and prevent them from coming home from 6 hours of school just to do 2 more hours of homework.  

Liam is becoming such a little man!!  He walks along furniture, but refuses to stand or try to walk with help - he crawls everywhere, and very quickly!  He discovered this week that he loves to climb stairs.  He made it all the way to the top the other, with no help (except a spotter, of course!), and yesterday while I was grading papers, I had to pull him off the stairs no less than four times.  He is eating mostly solids now, and his eczema has cleared up quite a bit, so I am seriously thinking it is a milk allergy.  We already know he can't have soy (*someone* kept force-feeding him soy formula and he would ALWAYS throw it up) so we are starting to try a little almond milk to see how he does.

Aside from Randy working some late nights lately, I guess that's about it :-)

Halfway There

I'm almost too emotionally drained to write this.  I'm a little bit concerned I'll leave out something important.  But here goes my attempt anyway...

When I got into the building, I headed straight for the bathroom, where I ran into BM.  I said, "hi," quietly, and kept moving.  Then when I was sitting outside of court, waiting to go in, she came and sat down across from me; she was crying a little bit.  She said a few things, the same things she keeps saying every time I see her at court ("I'm a terrible mom," "I wish I'd done better," etc.  I'm sure it's all very sincere in the moment, but her continued actions never show that she really means what she says).  I didn't have much to say, although she did ask me if there was anyway we could do a "temporary guardianship" until she is ready to get him back, and I replied that the court would not do that.  She nodded, and a minute or two later got up and disappeared again.  I went back to reading my book.

A few minutes later she came over again, sobbing almost hysterically.  She said she'd just gotten off the phone with her mom, and that they both thought it would be a good idea for her to terminate her rights voluntarily.  She was very upset, but kept saying she wanted to do what was best for her son.  I moved across to sit next to her, gave her a hug, and talked with her a few minutes.  She begged me to always take care of him, and to tell him that she loves him, and I told her what I tell all our birth parents that I get the chance to:  "We would never tell him that you gave him up or didn't want him; we will tell him that you loved him enough to do what was best for him."  She also wanted to know if she could have a "goodbye visit," to which I said of course we'd do that.

She never did calm down.  And she still didn't have an attorney.  The public defender's office got a hold of the PD who was assigned to her, and he was out of the building, but was in the area and was on his way over.  To his credit, he showed up about 2 minutes after we got into court.  I was pretty impressed.

When we got into court, the judge tried to talk her into calming down.  She told him she wanted to terminate voluntarily, and he advised her to wait until she had an attorney before she started talking - we were on the record at that point.  Her attorney showed up about that point, the judge asked them to step out of the court, find a room, and talk while they went through everything with BD.  

BD terminated voluntarily.  The judge had to go through a ton of questions to make sure he knew what he was doing and everything, and a couple of questions made me worry!  But BD got through it, and I was pretty impressed with how calm and composed he remained throughout.  I had written him a letter and put together a little photo book with photos from each month Liam has been with us, so when the judge dismissed him from court, I handed that to him.  I had been kind of hoping I would get to talk with him, but since they were calling BM and her attorney back in, we all had to stay put.  His mom was there though, so I was glad he had her for support.

BM's attorney told the judge he wasn't comfortable letting her voluntarily terminate today, because of how distraught she was (I understand that to a certain extent, but also thought it was kind of silly, since anyone making that decision is going to be understandably upset!).  Anyway, it sounds like her attorney did tell her that she needs to do voluntary, so hopefully between him and her mom, she won't change her mind before the next hearing.

It has been an emotionally draining day.  Now I'm looking forward to a quiet evening snuggling with hubby in front of a movie with pizza and a glass of wine :-)

Update 2 of 2 - Liam

Well, our hearing yesterday was adjourned again.  BM showed up without an attorney, even though she had been appointed a public defender.  The judge had her public defender called down into the courtroom, and then she told the judge she wants to hire her own lawyer.  The judge was not happy that she had not done this yet (she's had a month).  She told him she's been looking at several and thinks she found the one she wanted.  The judge told her she needs to understand the seriousness of the fact that she MUST have a lawyer here with her at the next hearing, which is in a week and a half.

I can practically guarantee "looking at several lawyers" has not involved talking with them.  No one knows how she is going to be able to pay an attorney; I'm guessing she hasn't even thought about the fact that they are ridiculously expensive.  After court, the CW said she thinks BM will end up with the public defender anyway.

Apparently BD's attorney told him he needs to sign over his rights because he doesn't have a chance to win.  My guess is that BM's attorney told her the same thing, and she didn't like that, so she thinks she will get a different answer if she gets her own lawyer.  Keep in mind, this is a person who has created a fantasy world in her head to live in; so she has no real understanding of what "real life" is like.

So, another week and a half.  Should be interesting to see what happens then.

Update 1 of 2 - K3

(In case you're wondering, we've put a hold on calling Little Girl "Kaedyn."  Since we don't know what the future holds now, we don't want to confuse or upset her.  I'll just keep referring to her as K3 here, since I can't use her real name anyway.)

Her worker was here this morning.  The DA and GAL are going to be dropping the TPR petition in October, at the next hearing.  They will file a new CHiPS petition (Child in need of Protective Services), and the timeline starts over.

One of my main questions regarding this "start over" was answered:  ONLY the timeline on the TPR starts over.  The timeline on the whole case does not.  Meaning, all the grounds that they have had since the day K3 was detained can still be used going forward.  THANK GOD.  I was so afraid they would all be wiped away.  

BM is incarcerated, and no one knows for how long, but it sounds like we're talking about years.  BD claims to be getting clean, but he also has something looking over his shoulder every day, so he really hasn't shown whether he can do it on his own.  Also, some of the stories he tells CW aren't immediately verifiable.  We have been doing one visit a month with BD; CW thinks she will have to go to 2 visits a month starting in October. 

I'm just trying not to think too much about the whole thing.  It's so sad for her and frustrating for us.  Kids KNOW when their situation isn't permanent.  That's why she keeps regurgitating her testing behaviors: to see if we will still keep her even if she is "naughty."

Please keep us in your prayers.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Tomorrow we have court for Liam.  BPs still haven't done anything, and the judge told them at the last hearing that he was suspending visits until this hearing, and he would make a further decision based on what they did between then and now.  BM has actually spiraled completely out of control, and BD has done absolutely nothing.  In fact, CW found out some things that have been going on with him that she didn't know before.  We are praying that the judge will continue suspended visits, especially for mom.  (If he gives dad visits back, and dad misses just one, he will be in default for abandonment.)  I am also praying that if God would see fit, BM would just not show up to court.  I believe her current condition is worse than it's ever been, and while I'm not getting my hopes up, I won't be surprised if she doesn't show up.  I am praying that for Liam's sake, if at all possible, this could just be ended quickly.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers during this time!

On Grandparents

I want to start by saying I think grandparents are God's most wonderful invention.  I, of course, have the best grandparents on the planet!  My parents are amazing grandparents, and if my husband's parents were alive, I know they would be too.  My parents love being grandparents, and our kids absolutely love their Grammy and Papa.  Personally, I don't know what I would do without them - my mom never hesitates to run over or take the kids whenever I need her to (and I try very hard not to take that for granted!)

Those of you who were with us when we went through our first adoption, know that we had a huge struggle with great grandparents in that situation.  Hunter had lived with them on and off for most of his life, and Kaleigh for all of hers. There were issues with boundaries, safe and appropriate parenting practices, and discipline; as well, the reasons the children were taken into foster care were multi- and cross-generational.  When we started putting boundaries in place (no overnights, controlled visits, limits on gifts), we had problems for awhile.  Things have gotten a little better over the past couple of years, although birthdays and holidays continue to be a struggle on the spending side of things.

Now that we have Liam, we have another grandparent situation.  His biological paternal grandmother has legal guardianship of his 3-year-old brother, who has Down's syndrome.  Early on in the process, I was a little nervous, given our history with grandparents.  However, she and I have kept in regular phone contact, and have had to play dates so far, so that the boys can see each other, and of course so she can see Liam.  She is down to earth and practical; having been a foster parent, she understands the system and exactly what we are going through.  She also has a very realistic view of the kind of person her son is, and what he is and is not capable of doing.  I think (and HOPE) she knows that he is safe and happy with us and that we are a good family for him.  I am actually looking forward to keeping in touch with her and know she will be a valuable part of Liam's life.

It's nice to have a positive grandparent experience after the other difficult one we have dealt with!

And thanks to my parents for being fabulous grandparents, and thanks to the rest of you grandparents out there who are doing such a great job!  We parents - and our kids - need and appreciate you!

Quick Liam Update

So, here's my almost-two-day-late update on court yesterday!

We got into the area early (it's an hour away, and we had to drive during a BAD traffic time!) so we got Starbucks* of course :-).

This judge's courtroom is the same courtroom that Hunter and Kaleigh's judge was in, two and a half years ago.  I'll take that as a good sign.

Neither parent had a TPR attorney (a public defender who knows the ropes of the TPR process), because their previous attorneys had not referred them to new attorneys yet, as is their job.  I had a feeling they thought they were "helping" by doing this (or maybe just being lazy!), because they knew the judge would adjourn the hearing, thereby drawing things out.  However, if that was their intention, it sort of backfired. 

The judge did adjourn the hearing (he didn't really have a choice when they didn't have representation), but he also suspended visits until at least that time.  They both kind of freaked out, which didn't make a lot of sense to me.  In 8 weeks, bdad has not seen Liam once, and bmom has seen him twice, and only because the caseworker made an "exception" visit last week (and because I disrupted my schedule to make it happen).  After a lot of crying and pleading on the part of the bp's, the judge stood by his ruling and said no visits between now and then. 

Today I had a home visit with the Caseworker (intentionally scheduled it for today, knowing I would want to discuss and ask questions, etc.).  It went really well.  I lay in bed last night, having the hardest time trying to get to sleep because of everything running through my head, and she really quelled all my concerns, so that was good.  I also learned some new information, and was able to give her some new information (always good). 

Above all, we know God is in control, and we are trusting Him to take care of our Liam.  He loves him even more than I do - and that's REALLY hard for me to comprehend!

So, that is about it for now.  The next hearing is in September.  I will update as that gets closer!

Nitey-nite!