Changes

At the risk of seeming silly, I am going to share something here that probably no one is going to care about.  But I feel I need to put it down in a place where I can feel I am being held accountable. Anyone else have trouble holding themselves accountable for their goals?  Anyone?  No?  I'm the only one?  Okay then.

I am, by nature, a creature of habit.  Okay, I know a lot of people are.  But prior to having children, I was very habit- and routine-driven.  Having a routine and knowing what is going to happen each day makes me feel... more secure.  (Humanly speaking, of course.  This security of which I speak is in no way related to a spiritual security or the daily security I have in knowing that God takes care of me all the time, no matter what routine I do or do not create).  I like having order and being organized and teaching my children to be organized.  Let's face it: being scattered and disorganized leads to chaos and usually a lack of getting things accomplished.  At least for most people.  And I am most definitely one of them.  And my children spent their early years in this type of environment - especially my son, who was back and forth between chaotic and disorganized homes for years before being settled into one of them.  And then he lived with a constant inconsistency until we came along.  So I think it is important for them to learn that life doesn't have to be that way.


I digress.  Because while I do still strive to maintain routine and structure, I've felt lately that this area has been sorely lacking since having children.  And yes, having children changes everything.  As well it should.  And I have NO desire to be one of those rigid parents who has a routine down to every minute of the day and it's posted on the wall for everyone to see and no one dare stray from the routine or God-forbid do anything to put the schedule behind by even thirty seconds let alone two minutes.  No, that is definitely NOT who I am. But my children do know that we get up and get dressed, we eat breakfast and do devotions, we do morning chores and then start on school work.  We have a snack mid-morning, and usually finish school work by lunch time, although we are flexible enough to continue after lunch if we need to.  After lunch, we have quiet time.  Throughout the day, Mom is doing her own school work, helping the kids with theirs, and doing house work.  After quiet time, we do afternoon chores and then have play time, either inside or out depending on weather.  Mom starts dinner, and kids have free time until dinner.  After dinner, Kaleigh goes to bed while Hunter does his bed time chores and then reads until his bed time.  Mom and Dad have a little time to catch up at the end of the day, sometimes Mom is finishing up house work.  Lights go out and the day is over, only to start it all over again tomorrow.

Weekends do not go nearly so smoothly.

This is becoming a bit of a tangential post.  I never realized I had so much to say about routine.

Anyway, while we have a "household" routine, I have become a bit... slack... in a personal routine.  Especially since we have all been sick for about two weeks now.  But still.  I miss having the personal routine.  Instead of getting up at the same time each morning and getting ready for the day, sometimes I get up and laze around for an hour or so until it's time to get the kids up.  Sometimes I sleep until it's time to get the kids up.  Sometimes I oversleep, and the kids get to sleep in.  Usually I make breakfast, but sometimes I just don't feel like it and the kids eat cold cereal (which, by the way, they do not mind).  Sometimes I shower before the kids get up, sometimes I wait until they are working on their school work.  Sometimes I do something with my hair; but many times, especially if I know I don't have to leave the house that day, I just pull it back into a ponytail or messy bun and leave it.  

All this to say, without a personal routine, I have begun to feel lazy.  And I don't like the feeling of being lazy.  Even if I would look at another person doing the exact same things and say, "Wow, you're not lazy at all!  You get a lot done each day, and who cares if sometimes you shower at 10 a.m.?  You deserve a break, and it doesn't hurt anyone no matter what time you shower."  I still feel lazy.  So I am revamping my personal schedule and routine.

For starters, it's been a few weeks, due to illness and holidays and sleeplessness and a host of other factors, since we have been to the Y.  Randy rarely gets to go except on weekends because of his drive.  So we are changing that.  We are going to start meeting there in the evenings when he gets off work, and having family time at the Y.  The kids have groups they can go with, and I won't feel like my whole morning is taken up with it.  Secondly, my  morning routine is changing.  I'm going to get up with Randy (as I often do anyway), and get ready for the day as I used to when I was going to work.  Yoga pants and ponytails and no makeup are all going to become the occasional rather than the everyday.

I am going to make myself a list of what I need to get done every day.  Wait - already did that.  Okay, I am going to stick to that list.  Seriously.  For real this time.  HA.  Actually I am going to need to revamp that list to include some non-household items, such as writing.  I want writing to become a part of my daily routine.  Not just "well, I feel like writing now, so too bad the floors aren't swept yet," but actually part of my "job."

This is probably going to come across as rigid to some.  But I mean it to be a flexible outline for myself, rather than solid walls that cannot be bended or changed or rescheduled when needed.  It's just something I need for me.