Monday, August 20, 2012

K3 Update

Well, since we're calling Liam by his future/hopeful adoptive name, I might as well start referring to our other little one by hers - Kaedyn :-).  We are alternating names with her, here at home, to give her time to get used to the name.  Her birth first name will become one of her middle names, along with Ann - the middle name of my mother-in-law and one of my best friends.  (In case you missed it in the past, each of our kids has two middle names and at least one family name/namesake.)  After a few weeks of declaring she was "not Kaedyn," two weeks ago she proudly announced she "was not ______; she wanted to be Kaedyn."  (Cruel, you say?  Not exactly.  We started calling her by her new name now, so that if after months of hearing it she still did not want it, we would not force it on her at adoption.)  The really funny part is, Kaleigh went through this exact same thing.  For weeks, she said, rather vehemently, "I'm not a Kaleigh, I'm a Shilah!"  And then suddenly one day she said, "I want to be a Kaleigh!" and the next time she saw her Great Grandparents she said, "I'm not a Shilah, I'm a Kaleigh!"  It was so cute.  And just melted this Mama's heart.

Anyway, there you go.  I love, love, LOVE our kids' names.  I should probably write a post about where each of their names, first and middle, come from.  They are each intentional and meaningful.

SO.  Tomorrow is a hearing on Kaedyn's case.  We don't need to be there; in fact, the birthparents won't even be there, just the attorneys.  The hearing is so that the attorneys can be heard on a motion that even they admit is frivolous and won't be granted.

On the one hand, I'm glad we don't have anything to worry about.

On the other hand, I think it's absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable that the system can be used this way - by attorneys who are supposed to be ethical and do the right thing, of all the people in this system.  The TPR hearing is scheduled for October; we continue to hope and pray that it will not be rescheduled again.  She goes for her once-a-month visit this week, and I'm not looking forward to it.  She doesn't really know him, but I still hate having to send her away for those couple of hours.  I will be glad when thoughts of him/them are not constantly waiting at the back of my mind.  (Yes, thoughts of the birthparents, as a piece of our family one way or the other, are always "there."  But it's not the same as their constant presence, no matter how infrequent.)

So even though it really isn't likely to change anything, I will still be waiting pretty much all day to hear from the CW confirming that the motion was not granted.


  1. And we "birth moms" think pregnancy and labor are difficult and nerve wracking...
    Big (((hugs)))!

  2. As always, you have our prayers and our never ending love. Like the above comment, it's becoming clear doing it "the old fashioned way" is far easier. There is such joy in watching your quiver fill. ;)